Healing: Receiving Serious Health Diagnoses & Survivorship

 When diagnosed with a life-threatening illness, such as cancer or as in many of our cases an aortic rupture or dissection, we may often experience a range of emotions and psychological responses. 

Me wearing a wound vac and chillin after my second open chest aortic procedure

The response to such life impacting news can be likened to grief, as we grapple with the loss of our former "perceived as OK" health status and we begin to confront own own mortality. The processes we encounter often mirror the five stages of grief and loss initially outlined by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book “On Death and Dying”.  If you've never read this book you should.

Here's a brief look at these stages as applied to any diagnosis of a significant medical condition or illness but especially written here for aortic dissection/aneurysm or and/or cancer survivors as these challenges are two I am personally familiar with:

1. Denial: This is often our first reaction. We may not accept the diagnosis or may think there has been some mistake in the test results. Denial serves as a psychological defense mechanism that helps us cope with the initial shock of diagnosis.
2. Anger: As the reality of the situation sets in, we may feel anger and resentment. This can be directed toward ourselves, our doctors, loved ones, or even a higher power. I kept asking myself, "Why me?"
3. Bargaining: This stage involves negotiating or pleading with a higher power, doctors, or even oneself. We may seek to make lifestyle changes, try alternative treatments, or adopt healthy habits in the hope of reversing the disease.
4. Depression: This stage is characterized by feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and despair. We may become overwhelmed by the potential implications of our disease, including pain, disability, and especially the prospect of our untimely death.
5. Acceptance: Over time, we may reach a stage of acceptance. We acknowledge the reality of our situation and may start to make plans for our future care or end-of-life arrangements. This stage is not about being okay with the cancer or aortic dissection but rather about acknowledging our physical and mental challenges and working with our diseases rather than fighting against them.

These above stages are not linear and we may cycle through them multiple times, even experiencing more than one stage simultaneously. Importantly, not everyone will experience all stages, or in this order.

Receiving support from mental health professionals, such as psychologists or counselors, can be vital during this time. Health care professionals can provide strategies to cope with our trauma and emotions associated with our diagnoses. Additionally, joining support groups, either in-person or online, can also be beneficial, providing a platform to share experiences and feelings with those who are going through a similar situation.  Facebook support groups have been a tremendous help for me and I know for many others.  I've also met some awesome people in these support groups who inspire me and give me hope.

It's also important to note that our journey with our challenging illnesses is unique, and there's no 'right' way to react or cope. The primary goal is to find ways of managing the illness and maintaining quality of life that work best for us.

As discussed above, one of the initial stages we may encounter is denial.  Denial serves as a psychological defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock of our diagnoses. It is a normal and in some ways, a healthy initial response, as it allows us some time to adjust emotionally to the diagnoses and to gather strength for our journey ahead.

I've personally found that denial can manifest in various ways and progress through several stages, including:

1. Shock and Disbelief: This is the immediate reaction to our diagnoses. We may feel numb, and there's often a sense of disbelief, as if what we've just heard can't be possible. We might think, "This can't be happening to me."
2. Dismissal of Diagnosis or Prognosis: We may question the competence of the medical professionals involved or insist on multiple retests, seeking a different opinion in the hope that the initial diagnosis was mistaken. We may also downplay the seriousness of the disease or believe that we will be the exception to the prognosis. This was especially true for me.  I spent so many hours on the internet researching how I would be spontaneously healed of my extensive aortic dissection.
3. Avoidance: In this stage, we might avoid medical appointments, refuse treatments, or avoid talking about the disease with friends and family. We might keep ourselves extremely busy so as to not have the time to confront the reality of our condition.  Again, I see a period of time where I did everything possible to try and get my doctors to allow me to stop taking the meds I was prescribed, including anticoagulants, beta blockers, statins, aspirin and others.  I was convinced that if I was not taking these prescriptions then I’d wouldn’t necessarily be sick.
4. Rationalization: We may also try to find explanations that could discredit our dissection or cancer diagnosis. For instance, we might attribute our symptoms to less serious conditions or to factors like stress or fatigue. We may also overemphasize stories of misdiagnosis we’ve heard or read about.  I too, to an extent was guilty of thinking my doctors may not have really known what they were seeing on the CT scans.  Ditto me on that.

While denial can serve us as a protective function initially, prolonged denial can be harmful.  Unreasonably prolonged denial can delay necessary treatment and prevent us from taking steps to manage our condition effectively.  For a caregiver, friend or medical professional it’s important to approach those of us in denial with frankness and truth but also with empathy and understanding, providing us with emotional support while also encouraging us to face the reality of our dissection or cancer.

Professional help from a psychologist, counselor, or a psychiatrist can be very helpful during our denial phase. Mental health professionals can use various therapeutic techniques to guide us gently towards acceptance of our conditions, providing us with the psychological tools needed to handle our diagnosis and the implications. As we mentioned above support groups can also be beneficial, as they allow us to interact with others who are facing similar challenges.

Both cancer and aortic dissection have been a challenge for me.  Its been well over a decade since my ascending aortic repair and I’m still living with a  complex descending dissection. It’s been seven years since my melanoma surgery, fifteen years since most of my large colon was removed and three years since half of my kidney was ablated for renal cell carcinoma. During these times I’ve experienced denial on a regular basis. Today, with the help of family and health care professionals I find myself able to recognize the stages Mrs. Ross describes in her book On Death and Dying.  Living with serious health challenges is just that, a huge challenge.  Kudos to us survivors.  Next blog post I’ll be discussing the second dimension of dealing with this type of trauma, the Anger phase.

Many blessings, Kevin

Nature Healing: Exploring Ecotherapy as a Health Modality

 Spending time outdoors (I call this outdoor time 'ecotherapy') can be incredibly beneficial for individuals experiencing trauma for several reasons. 

Ecotherapy & the study of the Languages of Nature has helped me with my aortic dissection healing

Here are a few key ways in which it can help:

1. Stress Reduction: Exposure to nature has been shown to reduce stress, with research demonstrating that spending time outdoors can lower heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Trauma can create chronic stress conditions, and mitigating stress is a significant step towards healing.
2. Mindfulness and Presence: The natural world can encourage a state of mindfulness, which involves focusing on the present moment rather than ruminating on past experiences or worrying about the future. This can be particularly helpful for individuals dealing with trauma, as it can provide a break from distressing memories and anxiety-provoking thoughts about the future.
3. Physical Activity: Outdoor environments are conducive to physical activities like walking, hiking, or cycling. Regular exercise has been found to reduce symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and can stimulate the release of endorphins, the body's natural mood lifters. Physical activity can also promote better sleep, which is often disrupted in those dealing with trauma.
4. Increased Social Interaction: Spending time outdoors, particularly in public parks or community gardens, can lead to increased social interactions. Social support is often a crucial component of trauma recovery, providing opportunities for shared understanding, emotional expression, and reassurance.
5. Restorative Environment: Nature has been described as a 'restorative' environment that can improve concentration and motivation. This is beneficial for those healing from trauma, where cognitive functioning can often be affected.
6. Improved Mood: Research has also linked exposure to green spaces with improved mood and mental health. This can be especially beneficial for those recovering from trauma, who may be experiencing issues such as depression or anxiety.
7. Ecotherapy: A form of therapeutic treatment which involves doing activities in nature. It can help to improve your mood, reduce feelings of stress or anger, help you take time out and feel more relaxed, improve your physical health, improve your confidence and self-esteem, help you be more active, help you make new connections, provide peer support, and provide a sense of belonging and community.  Ecotherapy benefits us through a variety of ways, such as;

• Improved Mental Health:
• Reduces Stress: Exposure to natural environments has been shown to lower cortisol levels, a hormone that the body produces in response to stress. This reduction can help mitigate feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression.
• Improves Mood: Nature has a calming effect that can elevate a person's mood. The simple act of taking a walk in a park has been found to trigger the release of endorphins, the body's natural mood elevator.
• Enhances Cognitive Functions: Natural settings can be restorative for our cognitive abilities. Research suggests that nature can help restore attention, improve problem-solving and creativity.
• Improved Physical Health:
• Physical Activity: Ecotherapy often involves physical activities such as gardening, conservation work, or walking, which can help improve cardiovascular health, muscle strength, and overall physical fitness.
• Exposure to Sunlight: Outdoor activities increase exposure to sunlight, which facilitates vitamin D production. Vitamin D is important for various bodily functions, including strengthening the immune system and bone health.
• Lowered Blood Pressure: Spending time in natural environments has been linked with lowered blood pressure, beneficial for heart health.
• Improved Emotional Well-being:
• Building Connection: Engaging with nature can help individuals feel more connected to the world around them, combat feelings of isolation, and build a sense of belonging.
• Mindfulness: Natural environments encourage mindfulness and can make it easier for individuals to focus on the present moment. Mindfulness has been linked with a range of health benefits, including improved emotional regulation and reduced rumination.
• Improved Social Health:
• Community Engagement: Many ecotherapy activities involve social interaction, promoting community engagement and social skills, which can be beneficial for individuals feeling isolated or struggling with social anxiety.
• Increased Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence: Accomplishing tasks in nature, like growing a garden or hiking a trail, can instill a sense of achievement, thereby boosting self-esteem and self-confidence.

Despite the noted benefits, it's important to mention that ecotherapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution.

Spending the day swimming in Wakulla Springs recently was so very relaxing

What works for one individual may not work for another. For some, ecotherapy might best serve as a complementary approach alongside traditional therapy or medication.  This form of therapy is based on the idea that people are connected to and impacted by the natural environment. It leverages the benefits of nature to promote healing and growth. 

While I personally attribute time outdoors to having contributed to healing PTSD and trauma associated with my aortic dissection, it should be noted that ecotherapy isn't considered a replacement for professional treatment methods such as psychotherapy, medication, or cognitive-behavioral techniques. Rather, it's an adjunct therapy that can support and enhance these other treatment modalities.

Regardless, I've found that spending time outdoors has provided me with so many healing health benefits since my dissection and aorta operations and highly recommend discussing ecotherapy with a professional for anyone seeking to anyone seeking relief from mental or physical trauma.

Nature Healing: How Forest Bathing Helps Manage Trauma

Forest bathing, also known as "Shinrin-Yoku" in Japanese, refers to spending time in a forest or natural environment for the purpose of enhancing health, wellness, and happiness. The practice is not exercise, or hiking, or jogging; it is simply being in nature, connecting with the universal through our senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell, and touch.

Very real health management substances can be acquired through Forest Bathing

The connection between forest bathing and healing trauma or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) has been known to traditional healers since the beginning of time but has only recently been acknowledged in scientific literature.  

One of my favorite Forest Bathing places is found deep in the St. Marks National Wildlife Refuge

Importantly, some potential reasons and mechanisms to explain how forest bathing could be beneficial include:

1. Stress Reduction: One of the significant benefits of forest bathing is stress reduction. Natural settings can decrease cortisol levels, pulse rate, and blood pressure, which are typically heightened in individuals suffering from trauma or PTSD. Lowering these stress indicators can help individuals manage their symptoms more effectively.
2. Mood Enhancement: Nature and forest environments are associated with enhanced mood and feelings of wellbeing. This could be beneficial for individuals with PTSD, who often suffer from mood disorders such as depression and anxiety.
3. Mindfulness and Presence: The practice encourages mindfulness and living in the present moment, which can help distract individuals from traumatic memories and intrusive thoughts that contribute to PTSD.
4. Improved Sleep: Forest bathing can contribute to better sleep, which is often a challenge for individuals with PTSD. Better sleep can lead to improvements in mental and physical health.
5. Boosts Immune System: Exposure to forests enhances the activity of natural killer cells, a component of the immune system that helps combat disease. This is partly due to inhaling phytoncides, organic compounds with antibacterial properties released by trees.
6. Therapeutic Setting: A forest can provide a calming and safe environment for therapeutic activities, such as trauma-focused cognitive-behavioral therapy or exposure therapy.
7. Nature Connection: Some research suggests that developing a connection with nature can aid in trauma recovery, as it can promote feelings of peace, resilience, and overall mental wellbeing.

Remember, while forest bathing may provide potential benefits, it should not replace traditional treatment methods for PTSD and trauma, such as psychotherapy and medication. If you or someone else has PTSD or has experienced a traumatic event, it's crucial to seek help from a mental health professional.

Bioacoustics, Audio from Inside the Old Live Oak Log

The old live oak log has long been resting on the ground after hundreds of years reaching out, up to the sky. As the log decomposes, numerous insects, plants, bacteria and lichens make their home inside the log. This ten minute audio is of insects, most likely termites and beetles, as they create their own ecosystem inside the log. Copper probes with piezo microphones, Sony PCM m10 recorder.

Bioacoustics, Healing Night Language of Frogs

 This audio is an hour clip of the nighttime calls of many different species of frogs living in a shallow, freshwater coastal pond in Northern Florida.

Here is the link to the audio: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxGYzO7fmrU&t=1101s

I find these calls to be relaxing and calming, bringing back memories of my childhood when I'd spend the night with my grandparents in their Spanish style stucco house near the everglades in Miami.

With the large windows wide open, the nighttime calls and conversations of the many frogs living in the dense vegetation echoed into the bedroom.

Today listening to these frog calls I am transported back to a treasured period in my childhood, a period full of nature's healing.

Bioacoustics, Moorhen Morning in the Swamp

Pre-sunrise audio when the birds, waterfowl, alligators and frogs are waking to a light but audible drizzle. Birds include kingfisher's shrill call, herons, moorhen's eerie notes, owls, red winged blackbirds, starlings, cormorants and more.

The recorder is placed interior to a large evergreen wax myrtle shrub growing along the bank.

Interestingly the wake up process is paced.

You will hear the moorhens and other birds take flight across the pond during the thirty minute plus audio. The moorhens are the stars of the audio with their far ranging vocals (especially when they join in vocal unison as in five and a half minutes into the clip).

Twenty five and a half minutes into the video an alligator attempts a grab at one of the birds, causing a noticeable ruckus.

This audio clip is a portion of the overnight recording session along the pond's edge.

Audio capture and sharing is part of my nature-based healing therapy for my ailments and working with the audio art aspect has really expanded my appreciation of nature's complex multi-dimensionality. The visual arts have always been important to me yet I find my combining both audio and visual with a focus on each individually, has allowed me to see nature in ways I could not have previously imagined. Today nature sounds actually paint visual art in my mind. Before I sometimes just ignored the cries, calls and sounds. Now, instead of hearing a high shrill I hear and see the kingfishers as they dart speedily across the surface.

Enjoy the NFT image too, the neo-realistic Moorhen art piece featured as the audio cover.

Sony PCM in a waterproof bag with mini stereo microphones protected by good windshields.

I am so happy to be able to experience audio art along with my native plant and ecosystem art. Nature sounds are an exciting door to enter through and explore the mysteries of the cosmos.

This recording was completed with my recorder placed inside a shoreline wax myrtle (Morella cerifera). Wax myrtle is an excellent place to record nature sounds from within as the canopy and branch architecture create amazing sound wave resonance. The waxy leaves also help shield the recorder and microphones from the rain and weather while hiding the unit too. Though this audio is all about a freshwater marsh pond waking in the wee morning hours, it speaks volumes about the wax myrtle bush in which the recorder did its overnight work. What I am beginning to see as I continue my journey into nature audio is that the cosmos around me in nature are actually much more dimensionally complex than two or three dimensions.

Bioacoustics, Nuthatch (Sitta spp.) Nest Feeding Time

This bird bioacoustics video is about Nuthatch, Sitta spp., feeding time in the nest. As with other newly hatched birds, the nuthatch babies are quiet until they recognize a parent, usually by the parent's call.

Here both parents are actively foraging for food and returning to the nest every minute or two, even though a storm is approaching, to feed their young. You will recognize the parent's call as they enter the nest cavity then hear the high pitch hunger squeal of the newborns.

I find it interesting that the baby nuthatches are instinctively quiet until they recognize their parent's call, and/or the shadow of the parent entering the next cavity although a response to a shadow could also be fatal as a shadow could be a predator too.

Lom MikroUsi microphones with a Sony PCM M10 and a waterproof drop bag. Microphones placed in the nest perimeter, away from babies but in the area of the parent bird's activity - hence the 'bumps'.

Midnight Frog Calls, Sawgrass Fringe in Wax Myrtle Thicket

Following up on my previous pre-midnight frog call recording adjacent a brackish sawgrass dominated shoreline with saltbush and wax myrtle thickets up from the water's edge, here is an hour audio clip from shortly after midnight to just after 1 AM.  

I found a couple of observations to be of interest, including;

• the frogs seemed to be consistently louder and more vocal this night just after midnight,
• their vocalizations occurred in regular two to three minute interval rising and falling crescendos,
• and a number of different species were participating in the chorus.

The wax myrtle thicket provided a unique platform to record ambiance from within.  Sony recorder, LOM MikroUsi microphones, windbubbles and waterproof drop bag.

Bioacoustics, Lagoon Winds Blow Through Shorelilne Wax Myrtle, Morella cerifera

 I posted an audio/video of lagoon night frog calls yesterday. This clip is actually the first part (late afternoon) of the frog calls clip.

I set up the recorder to capture the sound of shoreline winds blowing through the wax myrtle thicket. Wax myrtle, Morella cerifera, is one of my all time favorite native plants, providing food, fiber, habitat and medicine to animals and humans alike. On this audio you will hear the late afternoon steady coastal breeze rustling through the fragrant wax myrtle leaves.

Twenty three minutes into the recording the winds become more varied and frogs begin to call as do doves. For a varied listening experience move the video/audio indicator to half way through the timeline.

Here is the link if the YouTube video/audio does not function: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awez30KTDy0

Bioacoustics, Plant and Human Perspectives of Bee Audio and Vibrations

 Two different bioacoustic perspectives are shared in this post.  The first is a short audio clip of bees buzzing around springtime Ilex opaca holly flowers captured with omni stereo microphones, or what us humans might hear if we stood close enough and still enough.  

The second video is made using a set of piezo microphones attached directly to the American holly flowers so as to capture the vibrations experienced by the native plant when bees fly into their open blooms, roughly foraging for nectar and pollen.

The piezo microphones in the second video are constructed with alligator clips fastened directly to the piezo disk.  This contact microphone arrangement allows for us to experience the vibrations flowing through the flowers into the plant stems.  These vibrations are more consistent with what the holly is experiencing than the first video shared above where soundwaves travelling through the are are captured by the recorder.  I always find it interesting to put myself in the place of the native plants with respect to life experiences.

Learning to examine nature from perspectives other than those normal avenues I am used to has helped me see a much more encompassing and larger picture of the world we live in.  This in turn keeps my mind 'flexible' and open to learning.

Field recording too helps heal my constant health challenges including PTSD and stress.  Field recording gets me out in nature where I breath in fresh air, get exercise and absorb vitamin D.

Both of these recordings were made with a Sony PCM.  The microphones were a pair of DIY piezo disks and then a set of Clippy 272s.  Windshields were not used on the piezos but were used on the Clippys.

It is always good to examine even the most routine of life events from other's perspectives.  Finally, nature art is amazing.

Dune Gopher Tortoise, Railroad Vines and Beach Wildflowers

 Sketch of one of my favorite dune reptiles, the Gopher Tortoise, Gopherus polyphemus.

Dune Gopher Tortoise and Railroad Vine

Working with nature, native plants and wildlife has healed many of my aortic dissection problems.  Nature art and art therapy focused on native plants and wildlife is such a great healing modality.

Bioacoustics, Under Southern Magnolia During a Rainstorm

 Under the Southern Magnolia, Magnolia grandiflora rain drops quietly to the brown carpet of large leaves.

Above, as towering cathedral arches, branches reach out then bow downward forming a magnificent shelter from the weather.

I find the rain audio is much gentler, more soft under the magnolia than below the Yaupon holly, Ilex vomitoria I recorded beneath the other day.

Enjoy 45 minutes of a soft rain while imagining you are resting under the evergreen giant.

Sony PCM M10, Clippy 272 stereo mics & wind bubbles.

Bioacoustics, A Brisk Wind and Spanish Moss, Tillandsia usneoides

Tillandsia usneoides is also known as Spanish Moss and is found frequently here across Florida and the South.

I placed a stereo set of Piezo microphones inside the moss during a brisk (4 or 5 m/s) wind to record vibrations of the moss rustling in the wind.

The friction or rubbing noises may be from vibrations created by the Spanish moss rubbing against the tree branches in the wind.

Seemingly, the wind audio also creates a doppler effect that the piezo mic picks up.

Bioacoustics, Fakahatchee Strand Alligator Mating Calls

Alligator mating call in the Fakahatchee Strand Preserve.

We were hiking way back in the swamps around sunset when we came across a larger pond full of alligators.

Many were exhibiting mating behavior including loud vocalizations.

Bioacoustics, Night Sounds in a Florida Coastal Wet Flatwoods Ecosystem

Night audio,11:30 pm to 12:30 am in the wet coastal flatwoods dominated by sawgrass, saw palmetto and pine. This Florida habitat is not a quiet place when the sun goes down.

Owls, raccoons, frogs (vocalizing and jumping into the water) and wading birds all in chorus in together. The background levels of 'noise' on my recorder were red lining most of the night even with the gain (volume) turned down.

This recording is part of an overnight recording from sunset Feb. 23, 2021 to morning Feb. 24. The recorder was attached to a tree in the cover photo and stereo omni micro mics with wind covers placed on opposing sides of the tree.

Audio calls and sounds vary by the hour, especially in the transition times around sunset and sunrise. This is the world in which I am so attracted to, raw nature filled with textures, colors and sounds.

Listening to the languages of nature inspires and heals. This clip is approximately one hour. I'll be posting other night recordings from this trip as I can process them.

Native plants provide host to an amazing world.

Sony PCM M10, Clippy 272 mics, windbubbles and a dry bag.

Nine Principles of my Aorta Dissection Life

September is Aortic Dissection Awareness month.

Here are some of my Dissection Life tenants.  Subject to change each day and don't try these on your own at home, lol.

Kevin's Aortic Dissection Hack List

  Aortic Dissection has opened so many doors for me.  I am grateful for each heartbeat and each second I have to live this great adventure.

Just Another FB Rant About One of My Doctors

Dear Doctor: 

I want to extend an offer of help. FYI, you can tell me the same thing in the affirmative or in the negative. No need to predictably revert to the negative when blurting out my condition. You are revealing your insecurities! 

Fear not as I am here to help you. Next time you come in the exam room to speak with an aortic dissection survivor bite your tongue before blurting out 'after looking at your CT scans If I didn't see you sitting here I'd think you were dead or on the operating table!' 

Copy and paste or memorize the following utterance and don't act surprised I'm sitting in front of you with my torn aorta. You may say, 'You are a survivor. Your body is strong and you are on your way to recovery. I'm glad to be on your health management team and here is what I recommend.'

I promise then not to refer to your as Dr. Depression or Dr. PTSD and you may earn my trust. Hey, without me you're resume would not be as experienced with rare diseases.

You can do this. I got your back, Doc. I'm still alive. My aorta is torn, yup, but its like warped plywood - may be separated but still holding strong. And I promise I won't speak anymore of your insecurities.