Sunday, June 12, 2016

Ablutophobia and Aorta Dissection

I've suffered from Ablutophobia ever since my dissection. Ablauta-who? Until this afternoon I didn't even know the appropriate term. I just knew ever since my dissection I've had this big and reluctant fear of taking showers.
From that first hospital shower post-dissection, where I was seemingly locked into a claustrophobic glass enclosure and left to my own panic attack over tubes and wounds getting wet, along with quasi-vertigo and my own weak state of being, I have been hesitant to get in the shower and always relieved, even today, when I can step out.
Since I shave in the shower, my shaving has become more infrequent. I look around, fearful of what could happen.
Now I am a neat-freak too. So I force myself to daily shower. But it freaks me out.
So I was really relieved to read that there is actually a phobia named for people who fear showers and I was relieved to find out PTSD events can be the cause of Ablautaphobia. 
So I am not alone about fearing showers.
Not that it is a big deal. Its just another moment of enlightenment - like when I was DXed with Marfan - that explains much of this ‪#‎Dissection‬life.

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